don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize