HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We are all done wearing pants today
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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