I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
