It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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