yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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