so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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