Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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