I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
