Kiss
Puke
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
