I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
ttyl tear gas
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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