If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did I show you my penis last night?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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