im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
