I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
