I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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