It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
