she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When are your genitals available?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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