"it" just moved
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
