wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
is it fun? or sober?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
