hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
