Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
