Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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