I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize