I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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