even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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