yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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