she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
