broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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