I puked a lego.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize