i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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