my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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