I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
