the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
