I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
