Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
