she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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