I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
