guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
