Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
