Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
