I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize