Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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