The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
