Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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