things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
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I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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