Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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