Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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