One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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