He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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