I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
zippers are such a cool invention
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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