is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
