well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Small penises have feelings too.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
