I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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