my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize