Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
