Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
