did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
