Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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