I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
