We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize