Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
